The Song That Does Not Exist

I've got a song stuck in my head, but I can't locate it to hear it. Has this ever happened to you? Years back, I was watching a Dierks Bentley music video called Settle for a Slowdown, and after many watches, it clicked, and I thought, "I want this song now on CD." My family thought I was crazy for quickly grabbing my keys and saying I had to go to Wal-mart to buy some album right then, but I wanted to listen to it, hold it in my hands, put it in the cd player, and not have to rely on the Internet to hear it. When I want to hear a song, I want to be able to smile while I hear it; I want to know I legally paid for it, and that I can hear it right now, with no ads, and that no Internet or itunes could make it vanish away. I should be able to hear any song, any time I want, since my music player holds 120gbs and cannot be hacked through wifi, or have music lost in the cloud. Even if I think of lyrics without knowing the title, especially now with the Internet, I can google the lyrics and hear the song instantly, even if I have to pay or sit through an ad. But this morning, I found myself aggravated....
I had the melody in my head, I knew the words, and I wanted to hear this song. I wanted to hear that heavy bass, and powerful drums to the lyrics I was singing. A google search would turn up nothing. So it must be sung by an indie artist! I could dig through my pages of likes or ask friends of friends who they thought did the song that's in my head, but that would also turn up empty. Normally, if I could only find the artist, I could go to some website, buy the song digitally, or even buy a hard copy album, in which case I might only have to wait for a whole day to get it in the mail. But this case is different, as I try to track down this song I keep singing. Because I know the artist, and this would still be impossible. What's more aggravating, is I know that the artist would want me to hear it, but I still am not able to. Maybe if I just tracked the artist down and showed up, they'd let me hear it. So, I wash my face, look in the mirror and say, "Am I really going to do this just for a song?" But I guess I grew up in the "me" generation, because I like having my way. I would drive wherever to find the artist to ask what in the world the deal is as to why I can't hear the song.  And I have done that. The problem is, I am the artist.

I am the artist and the song does not exist. I can't find it, but boy, you should hear it. There are so many of them that play in the playlist of my mind. Fiddles and steel guitars, and guitars with the most reverb you can imagine, and some with the most goofy, but sensible, lyrics, that give a chuckle to the listener. But I can't get it. It cannot be found. I have to create it. Music inspires me. So if I could just hear the song, I'd really get in the mood to work on it, but it doesn't work that way. I only have to work at it, just so I can hear it. And I want to hear it bad. Would pay good money to hear it, but I have to create it. Cause money can't buy the song that does not exist. Only love, persistence, and your heart can.


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